haiz. holidays are coming ot an end now, and sch's gonna start. gonna be j2 already. a level year. a v impt year. i cannot afford to screw it up. but i dunno. i want to work harder. i want to not slack, to not procrastinate. but somehow, i can never achieve it. i wld get distracted by the tv, or something else. my mind woul djust start wondering. i just do not have the discipline. and then i'll just get very very very disappointed at myself. its no one's fault but mine. i dunno. maybe i expect too much of myself. but i just dun have the discipline to achieve it. then i end up hating myself for it. i end up getting very angry with my self. getting v frustrated. more often than not i want to hit myself, punish myself. but usually, i just end up crying. i hate it. i dunno....i really dun. haiz..............HOW????